A Comforting Fear
by Anchorsify
Summary: Reimagining the Uncanny X-men #544 break up between Kitty and Piotr. By not breaking them up.


"You are not qualified for this-"

"No. I am. I am my sister's bother. I will be this juggernaut."

The monolithic, metal-bodied russian sat halfway embedded in the ground from his charge against the previous Juggernaut, despondent but stubborn. A thin red line stared down the Colossus, but he did not budge. Scott got the hint their conversation was over and didn't bother further trying to pontificate, withdrawing to give them some privacy with a glance to the approaching Kitty Pryde. She met his singular stare with one of her eyes, even as she called out past him, "Wow, nice work, Pete." Scott was sometimes amused and other times grateful for Kitty's way of defusing situations with her humor, but he didn't manage to crack a smile on his way out. Neither did Piotr.

"Thank you."

"I was being sarcastic." Pete hadn't actually realized it at first, but didn't give it away by any overt movement, bringing only his head up to look at the brunette. The rounded helmet obscuring his face liquified unnaturally at some silent desire to better be able to hear and see and take Kitty in, because he very consciously was becoming aware of how calming a presence she was for him. How much she opposed the Cyttorak's influence just by being near.

"Please, Katya. Do not judge. What would you have done? Would you make Illyana give up more?" His features still metallic and heavy, he stood statuesque while Kitty was the polar opposite, a bundle of anger and concern and energy all bundled up. Her fists curled and released, arms shifting slightly as she fought back urges to slap him or hug him. And. Both. In that order.

"I don't know. Maybe. The Illyana I knew would have. But the Illyana I knew wouldn't've risked her friends just to make sure she got her revenge, either! Is that your little emsnowflake/em, Pete?"

His shoulders had begun to sag from the calming effect their argument was having on him-and he did not know how that was possible, but somehow it made sense for Kitty-but the process was slow. "You can't understand what would drive someone to do that?"

"Of course I can!" She shouted it so loud the too-slow-to-leave Scott could overhear, "But I wouldn't have done it! If I really couldn't have lived without revenge, I'd have killed myself. I wouldn't be that selfish, just because I was hurting. And you know what? You wouldn't either." All that nervous energy she was trying to figure out what to do with seemed to find purpose as the soft lines of her face steeled over, "You'd have sacrificed yourself rather than risking anyone else, because that's what you do, Peter. That's what you always do. That's what you did today. And that's why we can't be together anymore."

She wanted to hug him, but wasn't sure if she could solidify, if she could touch him without being rebuked, if she could mean what she said and not change her mind once she was back in his arms, so she settled for hugging herself. "It's great that you're willing to die for me, Pete, but I need someone who's willing to at least consider living." She squeezed her sides and turned around to leave, because the longer she looked at that big stupid big sad Russian face the harder it got.

"You took a bullet for the world."

That stopped her cold in her tracks. And got her hands balled back up into fists and back at her sides to make sure she didn't shake and stomp a foot. She knew that would ruin her whole cold image. "And I came back from that. _I_ didn't give up!" She spun around on her heel so fast and so angry she almost made herself dizzy, "And how **dare** you-!"

"Neither have I, Katya." He closed the gap between them and before she could decide between hugging and punching, he made it for her. He scooped her up off of her feet and right into his arms and she didn't even think about phasing through him to get away.. though she made a small squeak of a noise to indicate the extent of his enthusiasm, which got him to loosen up a bit so she could breathe while her toes found the ground. "I am still here."

He held her and held her and she didn't do anything to help it or stop it because of the conflicting emotions. Her initial outrage became steadily outmatched by the warmth and safety of being against him, because he was the most solid thing she'd ever felt. Her hands were the first to show her surrender from anger, going up from his back to his trapezius muscles, roaming to admire the expanse. It was only while doing so she realized she didn't get punishd for making contact with the emJuggernaut/em the same way Rogue and so many others did, and she wasn't sure if that meant nothing or everything. "But your soul.. and it's changed you. Already. How can you be sure it isn't going to get worse? How can you be sure it isn't going to corrupt you and turn you into a complete jerk like Marko?"

Piotr just smiled while setting her slowly back down upon the ground, adjusting for his newfound strength. "I do not think my girlfriend would let that happen." There was a certainty in those big blue Russian eyes that seemed to completely contradict her anxiety and make it all seem so silly and foolish without being demeaning. It had her hands roaming up to his face and cheeks, soft skin against hard metal with an unspoken question about why it hadn't reverted back mixed with obvious appeal.

"Okay.. Okay. I'm sorry, I just-what Illyana did.. I thought I knew her. I thought _you_ knew her.. we were both wrong. And then this, on top of everything else.." She just sighed in an attempt to let go of her nerves and stress and relax within his embrace, but it would take more than one. Luckily, Piotr was the patient sort of guy.. and somehow despite his immense strength, he'd never hurt her, even on accident. Metal or no. ".. I spent so many years away from being an X-man. I don't want to lose you again, Piotr. It crushed me the first time.. I can't go through that again. Promise me-"

" _Da. Obeshchayu._ "

She knew a lot of languages thanks to her time spent world travelling with an immortal animal, but she only had to read the smile in his face to know what he meant. She rested her head against the front of his shoulder, looking sidelong at his face with but a few unruly strands of dark hair as a veil. "Does this mean I have to call you _The Juggernaut_ all the time? I like Piotr better."

" _Izvinite_. I do not make the rules, but I must make sure they are followed. It is tradition." He said it with such a straight face that it appeared by all accounts he was deathly serious.. but she just grinned. So much so she had to bury her face against him to hide it, because of that deadpan stare. "Okay then," she said, mostly muffled and with only one eye looking his way while she tried to keep from going into the giggles, "Onward, My Juggernaut, to the blackbird!" She proceeded to succumbing to her own humor while he picked her up outright again and headed back for the jet, where the other X-men were waiting.


End file.
